We all know the feeling—holidays roll around, and all of a sudden our stress and anxiety increase. Maybe it’s having to deal with the in-laws staying at the house or getting the kids to all of their holiday parties. Maybe the holidays are just stressful in general! During the craziness of the season, it is easy to put some of your stress on your partner. While they are often your confidant and support system, they can also be an easy target for added stress and potential arguments. Here are some tips on how to keep your relationship afloat during this busy time:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

As much as we wish it, our partners cannot read our minds. They might have no idea that a certain upcoming event is taking a toll on your mental health. Being upfront and asking your partner to help you can prevent any potential resentment. It might be as simple as sharing with your partner that your emotions are heightened. This  helps get you out of your head and externalize some of what you are feeling. Communicating any negative feelings you’re having about your partner  is helpful as well. This can ensure that you’re both on the same page about how you’re feeling.

Continue to Prioritize the Relationship.

Oftentimes, when life gets busy, it seems like it is the perfect time to put things that make us happy on the back burner. However, self-care is an important piece of getting through the holidays. If you’re unable to schedule your usual date night with your partner, try to find some quiet  time together. This can be as simple as taking a quick walk around the block together or  making mundane tasks fun, such as baking holiday desserts together or creating a great playlist for your drives to holiday events.

Remember–You’re on the Same Team!

Anxiety often does a great job of catastrophizing certain events. When our partner is not doing what we thought they would, it is easy to spiral with our thoughts and pin your partner against you. Before going into holiday events, having a conversation  about being in this together can really prepare you both for tackling difficult situations as a team. This may look like words of affirmation, mindfulness techniques during moments of high tension, or a simple “We’ve got this.” These small gestures can go a long way and set you both up for success!

Ava Kaplan, LCSW